Paternity Leave

An acquaintance in another forum, not necessarily pegged to baseball, suggests to me that one way to improve the game would be to curtail players’ paid paternity leave. Can’t these dimwit jocks figure out (in the large majority of cases) how to have their children born in the off season, he asks, so that they don’t have to weaken their teams and anger their team’s fans with their unnecessary absences?

As I replied to him, I should only like to be the proverbial fly on the wall if such a curtailment comes to pass and the following conversation might be had between a player and his loving spouse:

Player: Sorry, darling, we can’t make the bedroom scene from July through January because, well, you know . . . 

Loving SpouseDon’t ‘sorry, darling’ me, you bastard, I’m not putting the oven on the timer because you assholes just might have an outside chance of fighting for fourth place!

You think of the damnedest things down the stretch, no?

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